We live in a time where independence is everything—especially for Black women. We’re praised for having our own, doing it alone, and never needing help. Own your house. Buy your car. Get your degree. Stack your money.
And while none of that is wrong… I have to ask, is it really making us happier? Or just more isolated?
The Survival Mask We Were Taught to Wear
Black women have had to be strong for generations. We were the caretakers, the protectors, the foundation of families and movements. Somewhere along the way, “I got it” became not just a statement—but a shield.
We learned to do it all ourselves because we had to. But in 2024, many of us still walk around wearing that mask, calling it empowerment, when deep down, we’re tired. We’re lonely. And no one sees it because we don’t let them.
When Strength Becomes Isolation
You can have a full schedule, a good job, a beautiful home—and still feel completely disconnected.
You can post wins online and still cry yourself to sleep.
You can look like you’ve got it all together and still miss being held, seen, loved, and cared for.
But that kind of vulnerability isn’t celebrated. In fact, it’s seen as weakness.
“I Don’t Need a Man” Became the Motto—But at What Cost?
Let’s be honest. The “don’t need a man” era came from a real place of frustration and survival.
But it’s been turned into a lifestyle… and a lot of us are living in extremes.
Needing support doesn’t mean you’re weak.
Needing love doesn’t mean you’re desperate.
And wanting partnership doesn’t mean you’ve failed at being independent.
Balance Should Be the Goal, Not Burnout
True empowerment isn’t doing everything alone—it’s having the freedom to choose support, softness, rest, and love, without shame.
There’s strength in asking for help.
There’s softness in letting someone in.
There’s freedom in saying, “I’m strong—but I still need connection.”
Let’s stop glamorizing burnout and calling it boss energy.
We’re allowed to want more than survival. We deserve to.